Archives For Spiritual Development

taking the gloves off

Taking the Gloves Off

June 14, 2013 — Leave a comment

BoxingWhat if we could connect every person in our church with someone who would invest in them relationally? Someone who would meet with them regularly to help them process their faith journey and help them take their next spiritual step.  A person who would coach them in how to have God conversations with others and articulate their faith?  What if we could provide them with a weekly experience where they could practice sharing their faith with others, experience real time feedback and coaching? Where they could experience praying with someone for the first time? A weekly experience where they can see the impact sharing their faith has on the lives of others. A place they could experience the joy of leading people to Jesus and see God transform the lives of others through their investment of time, talent and resources. A place where they were provided all of the tools to not only communicate what God is doing in their life, but discover how God has moved throughout time and share it with others.

There is a ministry in our churches that already does this. This ministry is called Children’s Ministry–it may be one of the most untapped forms of adult discipleship on the planet. Adult discipleship through Children’s Ministry.

Think about it–

  1. Children’s Ministry connects people with leaders called Children’s Pastors, Sunday School Directors, Coaches or what ever you call them who invest relationally in them on a weekly basis and coach them as they learn to evangelize and disciple others.
  2. Children’s ministry provides virtually every tool imaginable for creatively sharing faith. Bet you didn’t know you could lead a person to Jesus with a popsicle stick? If you are at a loss for words we will even give you a script of what to say.  But sometimes just sharing what God’s doing in your life is better.
  3. Children’s ministry provides a weekly environment to practice and hone skills in sharing faith. Full of energy, and generally pretty forgiving, children are eager to give you lots of feedback–sometimes instant feedback. You will improve from week to week or you may be eaten alive.  :)
  4. Children’s ministry consistently tells the story of God through history–from Genesis to Revelation, often highlighting the biggest parts of the story several times.
  5. Children’s ministry effectively connects Christians with non-Christians. Last time I checked every one of the babies in our nursery was a non-believer.
  6. Children’s ministry provides a front row seat to how God transforms lives. If you ever wondered if God actually transforms lives, spend some time on a regular basis with the same kids every week and watch how God can change a child’s life. The key to seeing life-change is spending time with the same kids every week.

And you thought Children’s Ministry was just for kids. I challenge you to show me a ministry that is more intentional about training adults to share their faith with others.

In Discipleship, Evangelism, Kidmin, Spiritual Development, Uncategorized, Volunteers , , ,
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“Nothing is more dangerous than to rely only upon a correct belief, and a fervent spirit, and to assume that as long as you believe the right things and are zealous and keen and active concerning them, you are therefore of necessity a Christian.”

–D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Quotes from my commonplace book.

Posted on May 15, 2013 In Everything Else, Spiritual Development , , ,
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Twin Sisters

Why Kid’s Small Group Leaders are Important: Andy Stanley “On Kidmin”

October 20, 2012

deep wide andy stanleyOn the family ministry side of the aisle, our commitment to create environments conducive to providential relationships caused us to make several strategic decisions.  The most significant was our decision to keep group leaders with their small groups as long as possible.  The longer a group leader was with a group of kids, the more likely it was that a relationship would develop–and thus the greater chance of God using a group leader in a significant way in the life of one of the kids in his or her group.  So when adults volunteer to lead a group of first graders, they stay with the group of children (and their parents) all the way through fifth grade.  Not only does this create the potential for long-term relationships, it creates a degree of accountability that goes way beyond the weekend experience. It’s not unusual for group leaders to stay with their groups as they transition into our middle school ministry.  That provides them with eight years of influence during what is arguably the most important time for a child developmentally, spiritually, and relationally.

from Deep & Wide by Andy Stanley

Providential Relationship: “Two things make a relationship providential: when we hear from God through someone and when we see God in someone.  When either of those things happens, our faith gets bigger.” (Deep & Wide p. 132)

8 Years ago I would have believed the idea of finding small group leaders who would invest in the lives of a group of kids week in and week out even for a school year was impossible, much less several years.  Then I met Craig Jutila at a Purpose Driven Children’s Conference.  He talked about elevating the commitment of volunteers–moving off of rotation to getting people who were willing to invest in the lives of a small group of kids on a weekly basis.  Since then I have led two kidmin environments in two churches and coached several others to transition from large rotations of volunteers to a core group of small group leaders deeply investing in the lives of kids on a weekly basis.

Here’s a few things that I think only invested leaders can do:

  • Only invested leaders can help connect a child’s faith to community.  There is more childcare than community when volunteers are on rotation.
  • Only invested leaders are able to show how God’s truth intersects with real life because they invite kids into their own lives and inspire their faith by example.
  • Only invested leaders can create a place where kids can be known and belong.
  • Only invested leaders know enough about a child’s spiritual journey to know their next spiritual step.
  • Only invested leaders know about what’s going on in a child’s life to layer God’s truth into their lives in a relevant way.
  • Only invested leaders can effectively partner with parents.
  • Only invested leaders can create environments that supply the relational ingredients of spiritual growth: care, accountability and belonging.

Keeping children and students with the same small group leader for several years creates a healthy relational dynamic. Children and students are particularly susceptible to misinterpreting negative events. Having a mature adult in their lives in addition to their parents can make all the difference when grappling with challenging circumstances.

from Deep & Wide by Andy Stanley

At the end of the day without invested leaders what’s left on the table is life transformation. That’s unacceptable to me.

In Children's Ministry, Community, Discipleship, Fammin, Kidmin, Orange, Small Groups, Spiritual Development, Sunday School , , , , , , ,
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people

People, not Preschoolers . . . or kids or students.

October 18, 2012
peopleIn most churches we have programs, curriculum, even positions built around specific age groups. We often talk about how many fifth graders we have, or junior highers, or high schoolers.  All of this specialization is good.  It allows us to shape what we do around age-characteristics, felt needs, even unique spiritual opportunities that God has hard-wired into human development.
However, with all of our specialization, (and departmentalization in most churches) it is easy to miss the reality that we are really dealing with people who are only going to spend a small slice of their life as a preschooler or kid or student.  At the end of the day we are dealing with people, not preschoolers or kids, or students.  What that means is we need to do our planning, our programming, build our curriculum around, what we want people to become.
Basically, we need to have an integrated strategy  aimed at what we want people to become.  You can’t do that if your children’s ministry leaders don’t talk with your student ministry leaders. And while you are all working together it might be helpful to get the adult ministry leaders in on the game.
The child is the father of the man. William Wordsworth, The Rainbow
In Children's Ministry, Church, Family, Kidmin, Leadership, Spiritual Development , ,
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Children’s Pastors’ Conference 2012–Orlando Breakouts

January 13, 2012

I’m attending the Children’s Pastors’ Conference in Orlando and promised people attending my breakouts that I would put some resources online.  So here you go.

Breakout: I’m Not Creative: Leading people who don’t think they are creative.

I’m Not Creative Presentation Slides  (I use prezi.com.  Click the link to the left.  You have to sign up for a free account to download it.)

Breakout: Why Children are the Most Important People in Your Church

Why Children are the Most Important People in the Church Presentation Slides

Seasons of the Soul Handout

If you are looking for more information about the breakouts email me.  Or come to the Children’s Pastors’ Conference in San Diego.

In Children's Ministry, Church, Kidmin, Leadership, Mission, Spiritual Development, Values, Vision , , , , , , ,
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The 14-24 Window: The other most important spiritual window in the life of a person.

December 20, 2011

Most people decide to follow Jesus between the ages of 4-14.  This has been called the 4-14 Window.  And if you are in church ministry being mindful of this window could be the most important thing you do.  It is certainly why I believe that kidmin is the most important ministry of the church.

Kidmin is the most important ministry of the church.

I think that the 14-24 Window may be the next most important.   While many decide to follow Jesus between 4-14, what their lives will look like, whether they will be fully devoted followers of Christ or just church attenders, whether they will be spiritual champions or spiritual second-handers is largely shaped by the decisions they make between ages 14-24.   This is a monumental time in a person’s life that we cannot afford to neglect.

The evidence seems to bear out—that the church at large is not doing a very good job at this. In fact it was suggested in a recent article that we shouldn’t really be concerned with this age group at all.  Instead, we should just chalk it up to stage of life and wait until they come back to the church in their mid-thirties.  The short sightedness of this article made my toes curl.  Most of the people I know who are in ministry today made decisions to commit their lives to service between 14-24. We are seriously impacting the future leaders of the Kingdom of God by neglecting this age group.

The most important aim we can have for 14-24 year olds is helping them find their place in God’s Story—helping them commit their lives to meaningful service in the Kingdom of God.

Here are just a few foundational things churches can do to leverage this spiritual window.

1. Connect youth with mature Christian adults.  The more the better.  Check out Family Based Youth Ministry by Mark Devries.

2. Get 14-24 year olds in circles.  Real small groups where a mature Christian adult is investing in a small group of students every week.  Better yet, have this person travel with them through high school and college.  Yes, even through college.

3. Don’t let ministry end at graduation. The average 18 year old will be making most of their most life altering decisions in the first few years of college.  Most youth are virtually abandoned on graduation day.

4. Incorporate 20somethings into a total ministry strategy from birth through 25.  So much is wasted because Children’s Ministry, Youth Ministry and College Ministry leaders don’t play well together.  The bodies left in the gaps between these silos is staggering.  We must come together and develop a unified strategy.

5. Think beyond your curriculum.   The destination of a series of classes or a curriculum is more knowledge.  More knowledge and more classes cannot be a substitute for people doing life together.

6. Youth and 20somethings must have a sense of belonging in the church not just the youth ministry.  Check out this interview with Chuck Bomar.

7. Help youth find their place in God’s Story.

8. Connect the Church and home.  What happens at home always trumps what happens at church.

In Church, Discipleship, Evangelism, Famin, Jesus, Kidmin, Spiritual Development, Stumin, Sunday School, Youth , , , , , ,
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Why Youth Leave the Church: An Interview with Chuck Bomar

December 19, 2011

Just in the last year there have been several books written on the topic of youth leaving the church.  Among them You Lost Me by David Kinnamen at the Barna Group; Slow Fade by Reggie Joiner, Chuck Bomar and Abbie Smith; Sticky Faith by Kara Powell.  The topic of youth leaving the church is perennial—that is it seems to be a topic that pops up in cycles.  (Check out my post on an article called Why Do Teenagers Drop Out? From Teach Magazine Summer of 1963.)  While it draws a lot of statistical studies the truth is, for those of us in youth ministry it’s personal.  We know the kids who walked away from church and faith.  They are more than numbers they are faces.

This last week I had the opportunity to corner Chuck Bomar and ask him some questions about why youth drop out and what the church can do about it.

How do you create belonging in your church?

In Church, Discipleship, Evangelism, Orange, Spiritual Development, Stumin, Sunday School, Values, Vision, Youth , , , , , ,
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Here’s the church, here’s the steeple . . . see all the people!

October 26, 2011

It is natural to describe the local church in terms of its activities, its work, as an institution; but everything the church does is for the sake of people.  All programming and organization are means to the end of effecting changes in people.  The focus must always be on people.  From Focus on the People in Church Education by Lois LeBar (p.11)

It was true when Lois LeBar wrote it 60 years ago.  And it’s still true today.  I think that this is one of the primary questions we must ask of everything we do.  What really is happening to people?

It’s easy to get caught up in how our programming glorifies God, whether it is doctrinally correct, whether it fits into the church budget or church program, whether it is outreach or discipleship, purpose-driven or whatever, but the truth of the matter is we are leading people not programs, we are teaching people not curriculum and what is truly glorifying to God is a person fully devoted to Him, not a program, a budget, a curriculum or a class.

So what really is happening to people in our ministries?  What do we want them to become and is everything we are doing moving them closer to that?

The most important thing in life is personal relations: being rightly related to God, to oneself, to others.  At the heart of the universe is a Person, not natural forces, a Creator who reveals Himself to persons, who became a human Person in Christ, who seeks to redeem estranged, sinful persons back to Himself.  This sovereign Ruler condescends to use persons in communicating His love and making men like Himself.  Therefore, Christian ministry ought not to grow so complicated that it loses sight of the individual person.  The key question must always be: What is happing to people?  From Focus on the People in Church Education, Lois LeBar p. 11-12

In Children's Ministry, Church, Discipleship, Evangelism, Spiritual Development, Sunday School , , , , ,
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Religion and the Bad News Bearers: Significant Decline in Church Attendance

October 7, 2011

I know this Wall Street Jounal Article is a little old, but I still think it is worth commenting on.

This is lame—and this is the lamest part of all:

“Surveys always find that younger people are less likely to attend church, yet this has never resulted in the decline of the churches. It merely reflects the fact that, having left home, many single young adults choose to sleep in on Sunday mornings. . . . Once they marry, though, and especially once they have children, their attendance rates recover. Unfortunately, because the press tends not to publicize this correction, many church leaders continue unnecessarily fretting about regaining the lost young people.”

It is this sort of thinking that is exactly what is fundamentally wrong with how some people view the potential of 20 somethings. The thing is: 20 somethings who left do seem to come back after marriage and kids. But they largely come back having lost their first love and lacking the revolutionary spirit they had in their youth. They come back as church attenders, not as leaders or kingdom pioneers.

This sort of mentality robs the church of leaders. Leadership statistics show that most of our church leaders made a lifetime commitment to ministry in their early 20’s if not before.

There seems to be a strong corollary between healthy growing world changing churches and their engagement of 20 somethings. To name a few churches: Reality, Hollywood Pres (in the 40’50′s), North Point Community Church, Passion City, Mars Hill in Seattle, Elevation Church. All these churches have successfully engaged 20 somethings and deployed them in service.

We must secure a life time commitment to Christian service in High School and then train for that service in college (18-25).  We lose our youth because we are not engaging them in significant service tied to a compelling mission.

I think it is clearly short sighted not to leverage the passion of 18-25 year-olds. Jesus seemed to think so. The disciples were probably 18-25. Some will say as young as 13.

I don’t know how to say this more strongly—but this sort of stuff really makes my toes curl.  What do you think?

In Church, North Point Ministries, Spiritual Development, Values, Vision , , , ,
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Children’s Ministry Manifesto Pt. 1

September 29, 2011

While I wish my job were easier, that volunteers would be beating down my doors to be a part of Children’s Ministry, that curriculum would be less expensive and require less preparation or that Mary would just show up on time—at the end of the day I don’t really care about the cost, or if it’s easy on me or easy on our volunteers.  What I care about is whether or not our ministries, our programs and our materials effectively lead kids in a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.

I like the fun games, great crafts, hoppin’ music, and compelling videos.  But I like all of those things, not because they are fun, or great, or hoppin’, or compelling, I like them because I know that I must engage the heart of a child so I can help them take their first step in connecting with their Heavenly Father.

I like great materials.  But what I wish every curriculum publisher would know is that a curriculum is not as important as who is investing in my kids each Sunday. I’m not interested in easy, no prep, or no fun.  Most of all I want small group leaders and Sunday school teachers that will be there every week, developing relationships with kids and families and then layering God’s truth into their lives in a relevant way each Sunday.  I want to see lives changed and families transformed.

There is one thing that I know I have in common with every Children’s Ministry Leader, Pastor, Family Pastor, Sunday School teacher, Youth Pastor and children’s worker–that I am in ministry because I believe that there is nothing more important than a person’s relationship with Jesus Christ.

In Children's Ministry, Church, Discipleship, Evangelism, Kidmin, Spiritual Development, Values, Vision , , ,
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